What's My Story?

Friday, August 10. Weight: 190.0

I guess a good place to start is how and why I am currently overweight...... Yes.......obese. What a horrible word in itself. If you asked one million people to describe words they associate with obese I'm guessing there would be a very long judgemental list that had NOTHING to do with BMI .

The first time I remember going on a "diet" was when I was nine years old. My aunt and uncle and their three kids spent more time with our family than separated from us (or so it felt). They were always there and we shared meals & holidays & kids & gardens & cars. My aunt was always dieting, and asked me if I wanted to go on a diet with her. I weighed 118 pounds. She said she would pay me a dollar per pound. I've always been a lover of stationary.... Little books, journals.....you name it I collected them. I seemed to think my success was going to be quick, amazing and painless. I got a real balance sheet book and made columns for everything. Weight, height ( like it was going to change daily ha ha) and all kinds of other important data. The most important column was the pounds lost. Now that I'm older and  wiser I shake my head at my motivation being how many dollars I could collect and then buy candy! I think I lost a few pounds, maybe five. That was the first time I really remember failing at a diet. It hurt.

I suffered no abuse, no neglect, no broken home or clear family issues that so many other poor souls endure. My family was as picture perfect as any carefree little kid could hope for. Our European (mix of Polish, Ukranian, Austrian & Russian) ancestors produced generations of five foot tall little ladies that knew only two words EAT & EAT MORE.  Food was love, it showed you cared, it healed anything from broken toys to broken hearts. Food was the center of the home, the red carpet was really the red table cloth ;-) . When I met my husband and he was introduced to my family he was not prepared for them! Sixty seven first cousins on my moms side alone........ Focused on gathering, eating and chatting.  I loved the whole experience. I was a good eater and always pleased my aunts, my grandma, everyone. I seriously don't think I was born with a full meter on my stomach. There were many occasions that I ate enough to throw up. I really miss that life. There are gatherings like that within my cousins etc, but since my parents died ten years ago my connections to the extended family were broken.

As I grew up and graduated high school all of my friends went their separate ways. Our family had no money for post secondary school...... And to be honest if they had sent me I was neither mature enough or focused enough to know what a gift it was and I'd have struggled to pass. Since I had no friends around, no parties, no camping trips I just hung around home and worked part time. The weight melted off of me with very little effort and I was about 25-30 pounds lighter than I was when I graduated. Since I hadn't worked on it I never really noticed or focused on it. I was at one of my lightest points when I met my super handsome love of my life husband. By the time we married I was back up 20 pounds and then another 25 within the first few years of our marriage. I joined weight watchers, and will save that for another day of story telling. I was now 25, 175 pounds...... And pregnant. Having kids two years apart I finished at the third one with a whopping 229.75 pounds on my short 5'1" frame. Thirty years old and hardly able to function. Three little kids that I couldn't keep up with. I had to do SOMETHING. I was lower than low.

Some of the things I tried along the way...... And I'm convinced they helped me gain weight more than lose it!!
Calorie counting
Cabbage Soup Diet
Weight Watchers
Medifast
 Nutrisystem
Diet Center
The Neuropsychology of Weight Control
Every 3:00 AM Infomercial


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